There have been lots of great quotes throughout history, but my 3 favorites (at the moment, at least) are these:
Going to war without France, is like going hunting without your accordion. — Jed Babbin
Jerry! You know I’ve always wanted to pretend I was an architect! — George Costanza (Seinfeld series)
Favorite quote #3 is my Story of the Day.
Two years ago, my husband and I were offered a couple of tickets to the Kid Rock concert in Nashville. I knew I’d love to go because I really like Kid Rock. Despite his bad boy reputation, he does seem to be a good guy – trying to make a difference in the world in many different areas. Plus, his latest CD at the time, “Born Free,” had a lot to do with God. But I wasn’t so sure Joe would be interested in going. He is a former Sunday school teacher and a fairly straight-laced kind of guy. . . but I asked him anyway.
Surprisingly he said, “Sure, I’ll go with you.”
ME: “Really? Ok. Cool!” And then I added: “Now don’t worry. This will be a clean show. This is his “Born Free” tour. It’s all about God.”
I’m an idiot.
So the day comes; I leave work a little early (Thanks, Tracey), and we drive up to Nashville. The closer we get, the more excited I become. The last concert I had been to was……I don’t even remember. We find the crowd to be mostly like us: tame and sober. I was pleasantly surprised. The unfortunate “lost lunch” in the bathroom was an anomaly, I was hoping.
We have great seats, but I have binoculars with me, too, so I can get a better view. The lights go down, the crowd starts to cheer and Jamey Johnson begins the warm up portion of the show. I really liked him. He was GOOD. Bonus!
Me: “Joe? Are you having fun?”
Joe: “Yes. This is great.”
Time for the Kid! The stadium goes dark. The music begins. And he walks out onto the stage – dressed like a pimp and screams, “You’ve Never Met a $%^&#$-*%@!#$ Quite Like Me!”
I turn to Joe and say, “I’m SO sorry!” And then we both burst out laughing. (Did I mention I’m an idiot?)
Ok. Of COURSE he would be performing some of his original hits. Why not? They are good. And I work at a newspaper. The language is nothing I don’t hear on a daily basis anyway. I just had it in my head that it would just be the “Born Free” album and nothing else.
Anyway, it was a great concert. Complete with shooting flames and guest appearances by Trace Adkins and Sheryl Crow. Kid Rock definitely puts on a good show. The only drawback: a woman in front of us was smoking for the first portion of the show. Argh! Migraine trigger. Plus, it’s illegal to smoke inside of public buildings in Tennessee. Someone in her row gets up and grabs the usher. We all help to point her out because none of us is happy about the smoke. Our area-offender is escorted out. It was clear she had been “partying” for a while.
A few minutes later, our smoking friend returns – and lights up another one.
The usher is called again. Again, she is asked to extinguish her offending stick, which she does. The usher leaves.
But, yes, you guessed it – she lights up another one. The usher stomps back to our friend and says, “Ma’am!? The next time I have to come up here, I will be with a police officer! It is ILLEGAL to smoke cigarettes in here!”
And our offensive friend slowly turns her head toward the usher and states my third-favorite quote:
But I’m not smoking a CIGARETTE!
Oh brother! She really was toasted. And yet, she STILL is not escorted out. But to her credit, she did not light up anything else. Thankfully! But the pot smoke did linger a bit. She was not the only offender. I was only hoping Joe and I wouldn’t get pulled over on our way home. A police officer would never believe we had not been smoking pot. The smell was all in our clothes.
Which explains why we felt the uncontrollable urge to pull over at a Krystal in Murfreesboro. We were starving!
We got home around 3:30 a.m., but we really did have a great time – despite the “cigarette” smoke.